Rings and Things

Zumba Girl and I were power walking yesterday, when we came accross a couple making out in the park. Right away something was off because a. they were not teenagers and b. it was 3 in the afternoon. By the third lap, we were able to realize he had a wedding band and she did NOT. They were obviously at the park having an affair.

My first thought was 'EEEWWWW! That's horrible.' However, the more time I've had to think about it, the more I wonder what's really might be going on. I'll be the first to admit that I've 'cheated.' It was bad, too. A simple 'hook up' that destroyed a relationship in a matter of an hour. I still hold guilt over it. However, I'm not a bad person. I was in a shitty situation...I was miserable in that relationship and I know now my infidelities were really a cry for help. Granted, a trip to the therapist would have been a nicer way to express these feelings, but I didn't know any better. I felt trapped! Looking back now, I'm glad I cheated. It ended a pattern of life that wasn't worth living anymore.

This is all not to say it doesn't suck. I, too, have been cheated on and it hurts something awful. However, what we saw in the park was more than a hook up...it was an EMOTIONAL affair. And that's where I get angry. I think we all have our 'what was I thinking moments.' Kinda like the one I had, but to form an emotional connection with someone else is the bigger crime. And it kind makes me mad that PDA got soooooo bent out of shape. He has a rights, don't get me wrong, but I could have done some much worse things. Not that I plan to do this in the future! PLEASE don't think that!!!! I'm just venting about something that made me realize how weak PDA was.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I'm kinda over the whole 'hook up just to get laid' thing. Anyone can do it and anyone can do it attached or single. So I guess it's lost its appeal to me. And I'm LIVID at that man from the park. How dare he do that? And dare that woman to allow it to happen? How awful is your marriage that you need to 'take a lovah' in a public park and make out with her all over it?!?!?! If my relationship ever got THAT bad, I'd make sure we'd call it quits BEFORE it even got to that point. I feel for his wife...whatever their situation is.

I know skeptics may say "Maybe she's cheating too!" or "Perhaps they have a deal worked out so it's ok!" NO IT'S NOT OKAY! AND NO THEY DON'T HAVE A DEAL!!! How do I know this? Because if that were the case, they wouldn't have to meet in a park at 3PM on a Monday to proclaim their love for one another. This is a bonafide secret.

So....why the hell am I blogging about this and what does it have to do with me and my situation?? I realized how important it is to be honest with YOURSELF, in order to be honest with others. There is a reason that man is cheating, and what ever that reason is, is a mask for what he's lying to himself about. It does seem easier to fill your life with drama, blame others and lie than it is to look at yourself and see your faults. I've spent the past 3 years facing my faults...it sucks. But I've learned some really cool things about myself and for the first time EVER, I love myself. And I love myself enough to never put anyone, or anything, before me again. A great book that helps drive this point home is "God on a Harley." Read it! It will change your life!

Wrapping this all up, when things start to feel wrong...listen to your body. Hear what it's trying to say so you don't end up grossing people out in a park!!!! :)