Thanks, Camera!

It's amazing how you can sit in a shit storm for weeks and then in one day the heavens open and all is clear and right in the world. I'd say this would sum up my last two weeks at work. The things I've dealt with as a teacher recently could challenge the patience/strength of a solider. However, some how today brought peace and joy....and at quite the right time. Thanksgiving.

I have much to be thankful for this year. New love. A job. A home. Great friends and family. Clarity...

I think what I'm most thankful for though would be my experiences in life; my encounters. I've experienced so many wonderful things this year. Yes, there were tears. Yes, there's been anger. But when I step back to where I was last year, I've grown so much and have so many great stories along the way. Much of it is the result of a 1lb. machine by the makers of Canon. If someone told me when I got my rebel, that camera would change my life, I'd laugh in their face. However, they'd be right. It has. My camera has taken me to some gorgeous sights and trips, moments of compassion among children and strangers, and most importantly love.

Tomorrow, I will use said camera to capture moments of charity, as 300 students prepare complete Thanksgiving meals for 15 deserving families. And it is moments like these that I am thankful for the shit storms....because the sunsets after they pass are photos worth taking.

To all my followers....I wish you a warm and peaceful Thanksgiving! I pray you all spend it in warmth and family.

My Personal Message to Mr. Christie

I try often to not bring politics up, and most especially woudn't want to in this blog. Afterall, this is supposed to be a blog about love and relationships. However, after this week I need to 'vent' and I do LOVE my job, so I'm saying it's okay this one time.

If you're reading this and are a NJ resident, it's no secret our Governor hates teachers. Some will argue he doesn't hate teachers, but hates the teachers' union. However, I am a teacher in the teacher's union, so I AM the union. So I am hated...and somehow punished for doing my job that he thinks can be done better at the private sector so taxpayers don't have to pay for education anymore and Corporate America (the real owners of this country) can once again control something else we often THINK we have but don't anymore- FREEDOM. But I digress....

After the helluva week I had at work, and the brief moment to reflect upon it, I wish he could have shadowed me for just ONE of those days. I can't and wouldn't want to go into specifics, but it was pretty bad. And the weak might walk away pretty shaken up that things like this don't happen at this age level, but it does...and it did. And my thoughts to Mr. Christie are not financially related. It's simply a request for compassion. I would love for a politician to shake my hand right now and I say, "I know how you feel." However this will never happen. Why? Because politicians don't live in the real world. How could a man who grew up in wealth (or at least middle class) and now resides in Mendham, possibly understand what it's like for a child who's homeless to get up and face school everyday? Or a child that's severely autistic walk through a building of 1000 students without assistance? He doesn't. And he never will. So how could he possibly ever feel sorry for me...the one who has to teach the children who have been 'left behind'?

I often wonder why Mr. Christie ( I will never call him Governor-he's not my governor) thinks charter schools will work over public schools. What will they do with all the special needs students that require a lot of services? Who will take them when the charter schools deny them? I recently read a story about a business man who thought he could 'rein teachers in' by preaching business practices to them. He ran an blueberry ice cream business. After he was done, a teacher got up and asked him about the quality of his products (cream, sugar, etc). He said he got nothing but the best. She then asked, "What if you got a bunch a blue berries that were bad and couldn't return them? What would you do?" After that, the man changed his tune. I wish people would get this. In any other job, there's control over the work that comes in. Not teaching. I never know what I'll get, and on what day I'll get it. None of us do. And granted, I'm merely an art teacher, so perhaps even some other teachers might say I have it too good.

Despite our 'lack of respect' these days, I still love my job. I would never trade it for the world. Because after all the horrid incidents that occurred this week, I got to help one of my most physically and mentally challenged students sign his name on The Signature Project at school today. This student's name is engraved in one of the most complex, and monumental art pieces of all time. And he was so proud of himself...like he won the lottery. Little did he know that I was the winner because I got to help him.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it Mr. Christie. When you shelter yourself from the world, and only preach to the choir, you may think you're protecting yourself from all that is bad in the world. And that may very well be true...but for every one bad thing you're hiding from, you're missing the million tiny blessings by its side.

Rules

Who creates life's rules? Not like the rules in a classroom, or the rules of a club...I'm talking about the ones that aren't written. Like "A girl should never call a boy" or "You should wait this long before introducing a new beau to the family."

I think those rules are bullshit. Sorry Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, but you suck. Why do we, woman AND men, follow stupid rules like that? As a teacher, I can't have this 'one size fits all' mentality. So why should it apply to dating? I feel like I've spent my whole life following a bunch of dumb rules...and the moment I break them I find what I'm looking for.

Of course there's a contradictory thought to this...when you've had such bad luck in the past, how do you know what the right thing to do is? I've found myself asking all these silly questions as if I've never heard the word relationship before. I think a lot about the episode of Sex and the City when Carrie starts spending nights at a time at Big's and she accidentally farts in front of him. It then turns into her having the ability to do #2 at his place to leaving some of her things there.

When are those kinds of things okay to do? And what about the harder things, like 'I thinking I'm falling in love...when is the right time to say it?' or 'How do I tell her I can't have kids?' or 'My family is crazy, how do I tell him this?' Not that these are pressing questions on my mind...as far as I know I am able to procreate. :) How and when are the right times to tell a mate things that are hard to say though? I stressed for almost two weeks on how to tell Shutterbug I was divorced. It really didn't mean anything at the time I said it, but it COULD mean something down the road if I didn't. In the end I stressed for nothing, but there is such a fine line with stuff like that. I would have LOVED to see a follow up book, Ellen and Sherrie!!!!!

I guess there aren't rules you can follow for stuff that's hard to say...aside from the ones in your heart. Your heart will tell you the right time to do/ask/tell the things that are either hard or uncomfortable to bring up...evening the farting!!!! :D

And like I said earlier...in the 'one size fits all' society we live in, there comes a point and time where you have to put that aside and treat each situation as its own. Stop using the past as a template and draw a new map in order to get to where you're going.