Curves

I was driving through a residential area of Mountain Lakes earlier this week. The area was thick with trees and it was pouring rain, making it hard to see anything up ahead. It was still light out, but with all the trees above, it was somewhat dark out. All of a sudden the road began to curve right and out of no where appeared this gorgeous lake. The mist coming off it was breathtaking and the clearing of the trees made everything appear bright again. I actually pulled over for a bit just to take it all in. Of course I leave the camera home this time...

Although this actually did happen to me, this moment also acts as a metaphor for how this past week went. Perhaps I was on some sort of 'cruise control,' only looking for the straight away, because a bunch of interesting curves appeared this week and my whole perspective has changed as result. Specifically, I've been asked to be my nephew's godmother. I really didn't see that one coming. My inexperience with babies (and my self-criticism of such) allowed me to think I was not worthy of such an honor. And I always feel like I should be with him when I'm doing something else...like I don't spend enough time with my nephew. So when I was asked, I was shocked.

I've had some time to let this sink in and really think about what it means to be a 'godmother.' In the Catholic faith, it means that if my sister and bro-in-law pass away, it is my responsibility to raise him in the eyes of the church as his parents would have. For me, being a godparent might have a different meaning. I now personally feel responsible for well being of my nephew as he learns and grows. When I think of my godparents, I still feel like I had a special bond with them growing up...and now too. It seemed they always took a little extra affections to me. I hope nephew and I have that bond. We probably already do. Every time I see him, he looks at me and beams! It melts my heart every time too! Four months later, I still get a lump in my throat when I hold him...

This whole thing has given me much clarity...just like when the road bends and the trees clear. Everything seems brighter; more colorful. Somehow I just know every thing's going to be okay. Aside from the clarity, I also realized this week it's okay to trust your intuition. Perhaps it's because the road ahead is clearer and I can see father ahead then before. Or maybe its because I've always known my intuition was right...I just didn't want to hear what it was saying before. Well, I'm listening now...and I like what it's saying. :)