A Little History Repeating...

How many of you out there remember the scene from Pretty Woman when Vivian goes in the bathroom to floss her teeth and Edward follows her in and thinks she is doing drugs? At first, he's ready to kick her out and when she finally gives up the jig that she's flossing he's at a loss for words. Edward apologizes and says, "Sorry, but very few people surprise me." And Vivian replies, "Well, you're lucky. Most of them shock the hell out of me."

I completely relate with Edward. People are so predicable to me. No one shocks me anymore. From this I learned a HUGE lesson today.

I got a little flirty (I thought it was harmless) last night with someone and, SURPRISE SURPRISE!!!, another naked picture added to my 'collection.' Luckily, this photo didn't go through. But I could have called it...

My first thought about this was "WTF??? I'm a beautiful (yes, I'm comfortable saying it and don't fear the judgment of appearing vain), intelligent and talented woman! WHY am I attracting such jerks?!?!? I almost began to regress a bit and started to think that maybe I deserve men like this-that somehow God thinks I'm only worthy of men that are creepy. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm PRESENTING myself to these men in a way that would lead them to believe that this behavior is something I find acceptable or even worse...that I would LIKE! How, you might ask? Let me explain.

I have a picture of my legs on Facebook. I love my legs...and the photo is very artistic. I love the photo more for the art of it, but today it has dawned on me that that photo is telling others a MUCH different story of who I am. I forget sometimes that artists think differently than non-artists. What some appreciate for beauty, others think different thoughts. BIG lesson learned here. So photos go bye bye. So does guy. So does my fear that I will fall in the same trap I've been falling into for most of my life.

And I think the man that will be my mate forever will be the one who DOES surprise me! And I can't wait to be surprised!!!